Just Breathe.

I have little to say. The weekend was alright, the highlight was probably the Saints winning the Superbowl:) Gotta give it to New Orleans, they've been through quite a lot.
I wanted to post a song my lovely friend Jude Kazar sent me years ago. It always makes me feel pretty nostaligic, like many songs do, but like the song lyrics say, "I'm used to it by now." It's a very beautiful song, listen. Good night everyone.

A Mob Scene and the Constitutional Amendments-My Night Time Dream.

I think it started with me roaming the hallways of my school building at around 1 o'clock in the morning, half naked. This made sense because last night, I had SAT prep at my school from 6-9pm-the half naked part? No idea.... There was one door I chose to walk through, which then led to a dark alley way. In the alley way was a deserted small room with a shower and an abnormally small kitchen sink. The room was lit a very eerie blue color, creating a really creepy effect. As I walked towards the room, I saw Al Pacino and Joe Pesci walking towards me.

*I have just realized that I've had a very, very strange reccuring dream: I murder Robert DeNiro with a knife. It's done in the strangest of ways. I'm in this weird blue bathroom, fixing my hair while half naked, and a better looking version of Ray Liota from "Goodfellas" is in there with me. All of a sudden, Robert DeNiro walks in, wearing an amazing navy blue suit, and stands next to Ray so I can barely see his reflection. I turn around to glance at all the beauty that is Robert DeNiro, and Ray stabs me with a remarkably long knife. I fall forward, bringing DeNiro with me. The knife stabs through me as I fall on my stomach, and then stabs through DeNiro as he falls on top of me. For some reason-I don't die.*

In this particular dream, Joe Pesci and Al Pacino runs at me, bombarding me with Italian kisses on the cheek and violent hugs. They escort me down the alley way and I remain silent. They kept smiling at me, trying to assure me that everything was going to be okay (don't really know why there needed to be any kind of reassurance). We eventually pass by the blue bathroom, and Robert DeNiro is lying on the tiled floor, in his beautiful navy blue suit, now covered in blood. The look on his face resembled the one he had in the movie "Heat" when Pacino shoots him in the airport (I'll post the link of the scene). Ray Liota was standing above his body with a vacant face. Pesci and Pacino looked at me who stared wide-eyed at the scene (still half naked). Pesci and Pacino help DeNiro stand up and begin to ask what happened. If anyone has seen "Goodfellas" or "Casino" they should know that Joe Pesci swears more than anyone on the planet, with the word fuck flying out of his mouth every two seconds. He curses at DeNiro and kicks the bathroom door. Ray Liota takes a quick glance at me and winks, and then Pacino looks at me and closes his eyes. Pesci looks at me and says, "Angela, what the fuck happened?" I guess the name Angela fits this very Italian mobster scene, but coincidentally, my very italian grandmother was named Angela. I don't answer for a while, and then go on a rant about how it all seems like a blur, with an accent I could never do in real life. Pesci walks over and kisses me on the forehead and tells me he loves me but I sound like an idiot. Pesci, Liota, and Pacino walk out, and DeNiro slowly paces out. He grills me, tries to pick my brain. I hug him, his blood wiping all along my bare stomach. He doesn't hug back and walks away.

The scene takes a complete 180, as I'm sitting in a small pizza place with my ex-boyfriend, his Dad and my brother Max, discussing each of the Constitutional Amendments, that I could not recite for you in real life, but could have a full length conversation on in this dream. After spending a good three hours in the pizza place, my brother and my ex's dad walk up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, while my ex and I walk behind them. We were all very, very happy.

And that's all I can remember.

A scene from "Goodfellas". Joe Pesci at his finest, and craziest.


A scene from "Casino" with Joe Pesci and Robert DeNiro. Check out the shot from :40 to :45. So dope.



THIS you absolutely have to watch. Sadly, the embed code was disabled. This was the final scene of "Heat" with Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino. Everything about this scene is amazing, especially the music used (a song by Moby called God Moving Over The Face of the Waters) PLEASE PLEASE WATCH THIS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KdYu68qJvo

A Good Week, So Far.

Sadly, my long post about the Grammys got really f-ed up, so i had to delete it. I'll be re-posting it soon.

In other news, I've been having a really great week. It's a new semester, so I've been receiving a lot of grades that will be on my transcript. So far, they've been slammmin'. More importantly, some of my photography is going to be featured at the Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) very soon. I'm really excited and think this could really do something for me. I'm also in two advanced art classes this semester (photo and film), so hopefully this will cause me to ponder the prospect of going to an art college.

This is a photo by Jim Goldberg that I found today while flipping through his book, "Raised by Wolves"a photo documentary of homeless teenagers. I loved every single photo, especially this one.

Mixed Messages.

It's hard to really complain about ANYTHING when you think about the grand scheme of things. The recent events in Haiti definitely made me think about that-but the other disasters of the world that go on everyday should not be overlooked for a second. My friend's status the other day read:

Shame on you America: the only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment - yet we have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations. 99% of people won't have the guts to copy and repost this. I did!

One comment responding read: Fuck Haiti!
I had so much to say, but I avoid facebook drama at all costs. I disagree with this comment completely, as we are most definitely not the ONLY country where there is homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, etc etc. Yes, our healthcare is currently abysmal, and the people running our government have evinced their stinginess for far too long-but progress has been made. The benefit for Haiti was a great thing, and I think Americans realized how badly we fucked up during the Katrina disaster, and made sure that wouldn't happen again. Haiti hasn't had the tools they've needed to live fulfilling lives even before the earthquake, and it seems now that everything is lost. They need all the help they can get. I love the man who made the status, and he'd probably hate me if he read this, but I disagree with the statement-completely. I would never disrespect him, and I don't think my reaction was disrespectful either.

As for the man who said "Fuck Haiti!", I hope he realizes when he says that, people like me translate this as a hate message to those children in Haiti who've had to get their legs amputated, or those trapped underneath the rubble that have gone days without food or water, or those who have a mother or father missing. It could have been possible that he didn't mean this at all-but that's why hateful comments like that should not be posted on the internet in the first place because it gets misconstrued into a myriad of mixed messages.

Call me naive, call me ignorant, call me stupid, but this is what I think.

Like I said, it's hard to be upset about the miseries of your own life when things like this are happening everyday. I'm trying to remain positive, had a few photo project ideas today. I've been pretty isolated from the world recently, but I'll creep out of my cage sooner or later. For now, all I know is-There's Beauty in the Breakdown.

Sigh.

I get no love on this damn thing.

Instrumental Tunez.

Check it!

Song- Rainbow Man
Artist-Busy P
Ever want to annoy your neighbors? BLAST THIS.




Song- Fall In Love (J Dilla Tribute)
Artist- Flying Lotus
So relaxing.


Song- Clouds Up
Artist- Air
Very eerie.

John Mayer, Again.

So I have now listened to all of John Mayer's new album titled Battle Studies. I've decided that it is a step down from his last two albums, Continuum, which was beyond words, and Where the Light Is: Live In Los Angeles, where he demonstrated his talents live in on stage prove to be even better than his work in the studio.
Although his new album wasn't up to par with the last two, it is still enjoyable to listen to, and has a handful of great songs like Half of My Heart, Edge of Desire, Assassin, and my personal favorite, Heartbreak Warfare. I think some of it was too poppy for my taste. He apparently agreed, quoting much of what i said above, in an article I can't find at the moment.

In other news, Mr. Mayer was featured in Rolling Stone Magazine which includes a to-die-for front page cover photograph with the caption that reads- John Mayer: Dirty Mind, Lonely Heart. I researched a bit about some of the highlights of his interview and thehuffingtonpost quotes, "John Mayer on Jennifer Aniston, Tiger Woods, and Masterbating." I cogitated for a minute to wonder if I really wanted to read more about the oddity of this interview (we all know I did).

John Mayer on Masterbation and Tiger Woods: I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. First of all, I don't jerk off because I'm horny. I'm sort of half-chick. It's like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It's like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself."
My reaction: A somewhat acceptable answer, answered with veracity (obviously...) And yet, why talk about masterbating? Is it of that much importance in your life? I would hope not.

On Jennifer Aniston: I'm the asshole. I burned the American flag. I basically murdered an ideal. I've never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life. I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I've had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is fucking fantastic, if I said to her, 'I don't dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn't arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.'
My Reaction: In a nutshell, sweet and once again, honest.

Thoughts on Bi-Sexuality: I don't care about anything other than energy. That's why people think, 'Is he bi? Is he that?' I've never slept with a man. But I get it. I've seen pictures of men on the Internet that are sexier than pictures of most women.
My Reaction: The first sentence rocks.

What he's looking for in a Woman: Aren't we talking about a matrix of a couple of different things here? Like, you need to have them be able to go toe-to-toe with you intellectually. But don't they also have to have a vagina you could pitch a tent on and just camp out on for, like, a weekend? Doesn't that have to be there, too? The Joshua Tree of vaginas? ...I'll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing. Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person so I can stop giving a fuck about it."
My reaction: I feel him on the intellect part, but he loses me a bit when he starts with the Vaginas. I get it, but damn John! What a strange analogy. The last part is real though, and that's what I like about him.

Due to his unfiltered streams of consciousness he says some very, very revealing things about his life. Some have said, "John Mayer you have become repulsive in this article." I have to give him credit for his honesty, although some of the interview freaks me out, and I will always ask the question "Jennifer Aniston, really?" But somehow, my love for him has only grown, despite of some of the ridiculousness of it.

He himself even "tweeted": Just read my Rolling Stone cover article. I'm still not sure if I would want to hang out with me.
And then 24 minutes later posted: After 30 minutes of twirling my hair into a knot, I say "fuck it." You can't go wrong if you tell the truth.
YEAH BRO.

My obsession will continue and I'm running out tomorrow and getting this magazine asap, as the photos will be a new addition to my room. No I'm not a groupie, as Penny Lane said in Almost Famous (something everyone should see) "We are not Groupies. Groupies sleep with rockstars because they want to be near someone famous. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are Band Aids."