Mixed Messages.

It's hard to really complain about ANYTHING when you think about the grand scheme of things. The recent events in Haiti definitely made me think about that-but the other disasters of the world that go on everyday should not be overlooked for a second. My friend's status the other day read:

Shame on you America: the only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment - yet we have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations. 99% of people won't have the guts to copy and repost this. I did!

One comment responding read: Fuck Haiti!
I had so much to say, but I avoid facebook drama at all costs. I disagree with this comment completely, as we are most definitely not the ONLY country where there is homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, etc etc. Yes, our healthcare is currently abysmal, and the people running our government have evinced their stinginess for far too long-but progress has been made. The benefit for Haiti was a great thing, and I think Americans realized how badly we fucked up during the Katrina disaster, and made sure that wouldn't happen again. Haiti hasn't had the tools they've needed to live fulfilling lives even before the earthquake, and it seems now that everything is lost. They need all the help they can get. I love the man who made the status, and he'd probably hate me if he read this, but I disagree with the statement-completely. I would never disrespect him, and I don't think my reaction was disrespectful either.

As for the man who said "Fuck Haiti!", I hope he realizes when he says that, people like me translate this as a hate message to those children in Haiti who've had to get their legs amputated, or those trapped underneath the rubble that have gone days without food or water, or those who have a mother or father missing. It could have been possible that he didn't mean this at all-but that's why hateful comments like that should not be posted on the internet in the first place because it gets misconstrued into a myriad of mixed messages.

Call me naive, call me ignorant, call me stupid, but this is what I think.

Like I said, it's hard to be upset about the miseries of your own life when things like this are happening everyday. I'm trying to remain positive, had a few photo project ideas today. I've been pretty isolated from the world recently, but I'll creep out of my cage sooner or later. For now, all I know is-There's Beauty in the Breakdown.

Sigh.

I get no love on this damn thing.

Instrumental Tunez.

Check it!

Song- Rainbow Man
Artist-Busy P
Ever want to annoy your neighbors? BLAST THIS.




Song- Fall In Love (J Dilla Tribute)
Artist- Flying Lotus
So relaxing.


Song- Clouds Up
Artist- Air
Very eerie.

John Mayer, Again.

So I have now listened to all of John Mayer's new album titled Battle Studies. I've decided that it is a step down from his last two albums, Continuum, which was beyond words, and Where the Light Is: Live In Los Angeles, where he demonstrated his talents live in on stage prove to be even better than his work in the studio.
Although his new album wasn't up to par with the last two, it is still enjoyable to listen to, and has a handful of great songs like Half of My Heart, Edge of Desire, Assassin, and my personal favorite, Heartbreak Warfare. I think some of it was too poppy for my taste. He apparently agreed, quoting much of what i said above, in an article I can't find at the moment.

In other news, Mr. Mayer was featured in Rolling Stone Magazine which includes a to-die-for front page cover photograph with the caption that reads- John Mayer: Dirty Mind, Lonely Heart. I researched a bit about some of the highlights of his interview and thehuffingtonpost quotes, "John Mayer on Jennifer Aniston, Tiger Woods, and Masterbating." I cogitated for a minute to wonder if I really wanted to read more about the oddity of this interview (we all know I did).

John Mayer on Masterbation and Tiger Woods: I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. First of all, I don't jerk off because I'm horny. I'm sort of half-chick. It's like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It's like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself."
My reaction: A somewhat acceptable answer, answered with veracity (obviously...) And yet, why talk about masterbating? Is it of that much importance in your life? I would hope not.

On Jennifer Aniston: I'm the asshole. I burned the American flag. I basically murdered an ideal. I've never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life. I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I've had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is fucking fantastic, if I said to her, 'I don't dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn't arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.'
My Reaction: In a nutshell, sweet and once again, honest.

Thoughts on Bi-Sexuality: I don't care about anything other than energy. That's why people think, 'Is he bi? Is he that?' I've never slept with a man. But I get it. I've seen pictures of men on the Internet that are sexier than pictures of most women.
My Reaction: The first sentence rocks.

What he's looking for in a Woman: Aren't we talking about a matrix of a couple of different things here? Like, you need to have them be able to go toe-to-toe with you intellectually. But don't they also have to have a vagina you could pitch a tent on and just camp out on for, like, a weekend? Doesn't that have to be there, too? The Joshua Tree of vaginas? ...I'll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing. Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person so I can stop giving a fuck about it."
My reaction: I feel him on the intellect part, but he loses me a bit when he starts with the Vaginas. I get it, but damn John! What a strange analogy. The last part is real though, and that's what I like about him.

Due to his unfiltered streams of consciousness he says some very, very revealing things about his life. Some have said, "John Mayer you have become repulsive in this article." I have to give him credit for his honesty, although some of the interview freaks me out, and I will always ask the question "Jennifer Aniston, really?" But somehow, my love for him has only grown, despite of some of the ridiculousness of it.

He himself even "tweeted": Just read my Rolling Stone cover article. I'm still not sure if I would want to hang out with me.
And then 24 minutes later posted: After 30 minutes of twirling my hair into a knot, I say "fuck it." You can't go wrong if you tell the truth.
YEAH BRO.

My obsession will continue and I'm running out tomorrow and getting this magazine asap, as the photos will be a new addition to my room. No I'm not a groupie, as Penny Lane said in Almost Famous (something everyone should see) "We are not Groupies. Groupies sleep with rockstars because they want to be near someone famous. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are Band Aids."

BAKE SALE: FOR HAITI.

As I walked in to Mr. Jacobs' class, hoping he'd accept my note of absence explaining that i was sick yesterday (which he proceeded to ask me if i was "sick in the head"), I sat down in my seat, smack dab in the middle of the room, and waited to hear the next lesson he had planned for us. My class and I tend to crack massive amounts of jokes, loud enough for the Pre-calculus class to hear next door. People wonder what could be so funny about being trapped in a classroom with Mr. Jacobs, and I tell them they just wouldn't understand.

People hate Mr. Jacobs. He kicks people out for sometimes a total of 45 minutes if they're late by even 60 seconds. He sometimes assigns us tons of work, without checking it the next day. He also assigns huge projects that he decides should be due the day after he assigns them without telling anyone.

Once you move past that, he's really not that bad.

Today, he brought up the earthquake in Haiti. I was surprised when he began talking about a relief effort we should all participate in. I mean, Mr. Jacobs? The man everyone is petrified of with an idea like that? I don't know if I was the only one shocked, but I'm sure I wasn't. He devised a plan that both A and B-Band classes would compete in: to see which class would raise the most money (Not our parents money, OUR money). And even more surprisingly, he said if B-Band raised say, $200 dollars, he would put in $200 dollars as well. I have to say, in times like these, where money is tight, and while being a teacher doesn't exactly provide enough money to be rolling around in the Benjamins, I thought that this was pretty generous. Also, I respect him a lot more now considering he is the only teacher of mine doing something like this. Go Mr. Jacobs!

Yes, donating money isn't the solution to everything, and doesn't automatically make you anyone good person, but it is nevertheless, a kind gesture.

I'm raising money this week by running a bake sale! It will be on Wednesday, January 20th 2010. All the money will go to Doctors Without Borders, an organization you can read more about here: https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org/SSLPage.aspx?pid=197&hbc=1&source=ADR1001E1D01

Helping Haiti.

While watching the news tonight, there was an interview of a Haitian born man trapped in the Dominican Republic. He remained calm throughout most of the interview, even while talking about the fact that he isn't sure where his family is. The interviewee finally provoked some emotion into the man when he told him that the death toll is reaching new highs every hour. The man became speechless. I have been so numb recently, so the fact that I was brought to tears by this man's interview means something.
The 7.O earthquake has done some SERIOUS damage.The death toll in Haiti remains to be unknown, but is thought to be hundreds of thousands. Medical efforts are hindered due to infrastructure damage, Doctors without Borders says that almost every medical center they've seen is not functioning.
Telecommunications in Haiti has almost collapsed and are severely limited. Other sources of communication which were already limited like the internet are completely gone now. Power failure has been noticed through out the region. Haiti is now literally cut off from the rest of the world.
Before the earthquake, Haiti was, and still is, an incredibly impoverished place, due to the International Community's role and the role of their past rulers. For example:
The international community's role.
1. French colonial contribution.
2. The international boycott of the new nation of 1804.
3. The French debt of 1838.
4. The United States Occupation, 1915-1934.
5. Post World War II United States domination.

The role of Haiti's rulers.
1. Slave-like labor systems in the early republic.
2. The elite's protection of its wealth.
3. Haitian corruption.
4. Human rights violations as a tool of oppression.

So now I ask myself, if there IS a God, why the fuck did this have to happen to these people? To a population already struggling to live the way you and I take for granted. And while this is happening, we continue to update our facebook statuses to things like "fuck bitches, get money".
I cannot sit back and watch the terrors going on over there. It feels like a crime. My friend Adrianna and I are planning on doing something, rather than just talking about how awful it is. We are going to start small, and hopefully turn it into something great. I would like to go there when I can in a community service effort. Let's all use our privilege and attempt to make differences while we still can.

New Year.

So, it's been about 13 days of the new year so far. I had a spectacular new years eve, topped the last two by a long shot. It's been rough so far though. The prospect of college is beginning to haunt me a bit, and I think it's been sub-consciously on my mind a lot too. I've been having anxiety attacks for 3 months now, and they've been coming along a lot more recently. The cause? I don't really know.
I'm doing lots of things to relax me now. I've found that photography has been an amazing release, and i'm looking forward to upcoming projects i'll be doing.

On another good note, I've grown a lot closer with my best friend Jude who reminds me of how great life can be (lame line, but who cares, as daxflame would say, lmfao)
I never made a list of my Resolutions!
•Lose weight -_- of course.
•Finish homework every night before the morning.
•Learn every bit and piece of my Nikon FM10.
•RELAX
•Complete my photo project on Beacon!
•Finally watch Boyz N The Hood